Paradigm Shift: The Necessary Journey To Innerspace, To Yourself.
Updated: Aug 1, 2020
“Enlightenment is a destructive process. It has nothing to do with becoming better or being happier. Enlightenment is the crumbling away of untruth. It's seeing through the facade of pretence. It's the complete eradication of everything we imagined to be true " ―Adyashanti
This quote has been rattling around in my brain for weeks now. Events in my life have brought me to a place where this isn't just a quote. It has become a mantra. A mission. One I cannot refuse. One I am compelled to engage in. A path that I began log ago and became lost in the way. The destructive process of breaking down the stale concepts, ineffective mind states, and false paradigms that have led to an ineffective state of being. Sometimes, most of the time, in my case anyway, the problem is me. The way I think and the way I react to things have been found wanting just as King Nebuchadnezzar's writing on the wall. And just as the decree written in the mysterious spiritual graffiti, the King’s Kingdom was split and he was driven into the wilderness suffering from a sudden mania.
Such is the case with us. Well, many of us, Definitely me. Ignoring the longings and ambitions of the soul we can get caught up. If depression and anxiety are a bag you have been given to carry in this life then this situation becomes fundamentally dangerous and like King Nebuchadnezzar, our kingdoms become divided. We lose friends, opportunities, loved ones and most importantly we lose ourselves, our sense of purpose, and sometimes...our minds. We can become so lost in our depression and anxiety that we lose all sense of direction with the world becomes blur around us and before you know it you are descending to an unknown place with what feels like nothing to grab on to. A slow, painful falling with your world fading out of focus just Chris in the movie Get Out.
A few days ago I found myself in the hospital. Just normal walk to the park with the kids turned into an ordeal of dealing with extreme chest and back pain with restricted breathing.
I walked the kids home and proceeded to just try and relax the rest of the night. The next morning all the pain was still there which resulted in an ambulance ride. At the end of two days of doctors and tests it was determined that my heart was not only fine but excellent for a person of my age(47). The final diagnoses was a combination of back spasms from sitting in a bad chair coinciding with a extreme anxiety attack. The warning is clear. I have to return to myself. To the GOD and universe in me. To awaken the greatness that has been stifled. Something perfectly illustrated in the below discussion between Joe Rogan and Guy Ritchie from JRE Episode 956.
The bottom line is that this "destructive process", the return to self has to take place. For some it is a point of no return. A journey that was once an option, an idea, has now become a mandate, a destiny. It has now become the way of the warrior. You have lived and tried the way of compromise, of minimizing your soul, your ambition. It is now time to fight the good fight. To change the paradigms. It's time to admit you have been using an ineffective operating system that may look good from the outside but those that know you, that love you, that see the greatness in you, can see that you are a shadow of yourself. As in this scene from No Country From Old Men, Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem) makes a statement towards and asks Carson Wells (Woody Harrelson) a question:
"You should admit your situation. There would be more dignity in it."
"If the rule you followed brought you to this, of what use was the rule?"
Then after the death of Wells on a phone call with Chigurh, Llewelyn Moss (Josh Brolin) has to face the inevitably of a final showdown with the psychopathic killer that is hunting him to regain the money that he stole. If he doesn't resolve this himself then his wife and her family are on the list.
We have to return to self. It will continue to hunt us down and torture us. He have to engage in the destructive process to find an liberate the true self. You have to put it all on the line. At this point if you are in this fallen space, you have lost it all anyway. Its time to be the true warrior and bring yourself back. Whatever it takes.